She's Like The Wind
by C.Queen
Summary: Rei musing about Kira and how she became so vital to him and how he couldn't survive without her with him however impossible that might seem.


Disclaimer: I don't own the series or the characters or the song.  All I own is the plot which I copyright and hope that you'll review and enjoy.

For Kami on her birthday, Happy Birthday Kami, thank you for being my friend.

She's Like The Wind

She's like the wind through my tree  
She rides the night next to me  
She leads me through the moonlight  
Only to burn me with the sun  
She's taken my heart  
But she doesn't know what she's done!

Rei sat on the grass as he watched the sun set before him, a beautiful array of colors and shapes before him.  He had really notice such things before, at least not to the extent he did now but that was her influence.  Her love of color and life had begun to color his vision so that he'd begun to notice things like sunsets and other stuff like that.  She'd love this, it was too bad he hadn't brought her with him.  But she'd had stuff at home she needed to do and plus he would imagine her mother was giving Kira a hard time about him, no matter what Kira said. Then again when wasn't he getting Kira into bad situations or in trouble, Rei thought with a cruel twist of his pale lips.  It seemed like everything and everyone was against them, even though they didn't understand what he and Kira were.  They were kindred spirits in a way, they needed each other more then they realized and though he didn't know how she felt about him he knew deep inside that she had become something necessary to him.  He needed to see her, to walk beside her, to hear her laugh.  He needed her simply there to hold his hand and tell him that everything was going to be all right in this twisted, fucked up world they lived in.

Feel her breath on my face  
Her body close to me!  
Can't look in her eyes  
She's out of my league!  
Just a fool to believe  
I have anything she needs  
She's like the wind...

What would she say if she knew how much he depended upon her Rei sometimes wondered.  She thought she was so weak and that he was so strong but she was wrong, so wrong about that.  He wasn't strong, he just pretended he was to get away from the shrinks and his dad and everyone else that had tried to run his life.  The only one that had ever understood him, truly known him from the inside out was Sei..and Sei was gone.  Dead because he hadn't realized how bad it was, how close to the edge his twin had been and he should have known damn it, he should have known and stopped it.  Instead his brother had jumped, his twin and other half.  After that he'd walked around half a man, never again to be a boy as he pretended to recover, to get all better so that they'd just leave him the hell alone.  Then she'd entered into his life, amazing that it was all because he'd gotten lost and asked her for directions.  And from there it had been a downhill battle against the emotions she was setting loose.  She'd reminded him in the beginning of Sei so much, her shyness, her isolation from others and her need to be cared for and protected.  It had been that picture she'd drawn that had caught his attention but in truth it was the look in her eyes when he'd complimented her that had snagged him so completely.  She'd looked like he'd given her the greatest gift she could ever receive, such happiness for something so little.  And when she'd asked him to model for her, even with his extreme hatred of such things he'd agreed.  Not because he'd wanted to, but because she had asked HIM.  
  
I look in the mirror and all I see  
Is a young old man with only a dream!  
Am I just fooling myself  
That she'll stop the pain  
Living without her  
I'd go insane!

Of course he hadn't done anything then, he'd known how Tatsuya felt about Kira after all and  Tatsuya..well he was the closest thing he had to a true friend at their school though he'd be damned before he admitted it.  So of course he couldn't get involved with Kira, she was only a girl after all right?  No big deal, plenty of chicks out there, ones certainly better looking and more his usual style then Kira.  But it seemed like every time he looked into those eyes of hers he'd forget and just think of her as Kira, not Tatsuya's Kira.  And then Harumi had begun hassling her, because of him.  Harumi had been nothing more then a distraction, another chick to lay because she was offering and he was willing, no strings attached.  But Harumi hadn't felt that way and Kira had paid for it.  And being the idiot he was he'd made it worse by doing something he'd allowed no other girl to do.  He'd allowed her on his bike, his most prized possession.  Boy had her mom ever freaked out about that, Rei thought with a sigh as he raked his hands through his long blonde hair that he never remembered to cut.  Then again Kira had been crying so it wasn't like he blamed Kira's mom or anything.  And those tears had done him in, gone straight to the heart he tried to hide so carefully.  So he'd tried to force Tatsuya to go out with Kira, to make it official so that Rei would have no choice to forget Kira.  But it hadn't worked and the fear he'd felt when he realized Harumi was going after Kira again, when he'd arrived in that musty gym to find her on the floor cradling her hand, her beautiful, delicate hands his heart had stopped beating completely.  It had been like before in that instant only it was Kira instead of his brother, too late to save her.  And when she'd told him that it was alright, that she was okay all he'd been able to do was pull her to him and hold her tightly, so afraid to let her go.  
  
Feel her breath on my face  
Her body close to me!  
Can't look in her eyes  
She's out of my league!  
Just a fool to believe  
I have anything she needs  
She's like the wind...

And when Tatsuya had come running in he'd let her go, trying to act like it was nothing but it hadn't been nothing and he and Tatsuya had known it.  Then, as if his stupidity hadn't ended there he'd gone to her apartment building, needing to make sure she was alright however stupid he'd known it was.  And then she'd come running out the door and to him, a smile on her face and it had been like something shifted inside him.  They'd talked about Harumi, the idiot trying to defend Harumi who would have been more likely to push Kira into heavy traffic then do the same.  And then she'd nearly fallen, in the process her hair had tangling in his bracelet, another one of his most precious things.  He'd untangled her smooth as silk strands of hair from his bracelet and had been overcome with the need to give it to her, because she'd liked it and thought it beautiful.  Then he'd kissed her, sealing his fate forever with the first brush of lips against lips, damning him for all eternity.  He'd ordered her to go as soon as their lips left each other, making her go back before he did something stupid while his emotions were begging to be expressed.  How he'd wanted to drag her back to him and kiss her until the whole world collapsed down on them.  And that had scared him, when before he'd been afraid of nothing.  She'd passed it off as just one of his whims and he'd let her, better that then the truth.  But Tatsuya had known the truth and decided to give up on Kira, deciding that simply that he would let Kira go for his sake.  The way he'd felt when he realized what Tatsuya was doing, that Tatsuya was basically giving Kira up because he thought Kira belonged with him had been like a whack in the head with a two by four.  Of course he'd played dumb and thought Tatsuya was an idiot to think it could ever work but there had been a part of him that had begun to hope.     
  
Feel your breath on my face  
Your body close to me!  
Can't look in your eyes  
You're out of my league!

With Tatsuya out of the way it really hadn't made a difference he'd told himself, even though it had made all the difference.  Then that bastard Kurasawa had taken Kira's sketch, the one she'd given to him and he'd only seen red.  She was under his protection and this ass had thought he could just get away with taking credit for Kira's brilliance and creativity.  He'd been suspended of course for knocking the little weasel around but that was fine with him, he would have done far worse if Kira hadn't been there.  He hadn't wanted her to see him like that, as the monster he knew he could be when he got angry enough.  But even seeing him the way he'd been she'd risked coming to his neighborhood, skipping school all for him and because he'd been ditching school.  They'd gone out that day and he'd had one of his stupid attacks, hanging over his head as usual like the guillotine waiting to severe his head and end his life.  But Kira hadn't let the blade get him this time, she'd breathed her life into him and called him back, back from the darkness that always threatened to take him, as it had taken Sei.  And that day he'd truly kissed her, known what it felt like to hold her in his arms and lose himself in her, forgetting everything else.  It had terrified him the feelings that had arose over something so simple and normal for him, he'd kissed and done more with countless girls but with Kira it had been so different...like being reborn anew.  A fanciful thought maybe, but that's how it had felt, Rei thought as he got to his feet as the sunset faded away before him, gone for the day until it returned tomorrow to light the world for a time before being over powered by the night once more.  Brushing off his jeans Rei grabbed his helmet and putting it on walked over to his bike and swinging a leg over it turned the key and feeling the familiar rush of adrenaline pump through his veins roared off and onto the road, becoming a blur as he drove with no real destination in mind, only of speed and being free to be himself.  There was only one thing that compared to this rush and he was beginning to fear that the truth was she had become more then that.  That maybe, just maybe Kira had become the air he breathed and that one day she'd no longer be there at his side, smiling at him in that way of hers that made him feel that there was nothing he couldn't do or accomplish if he tried.  He'd do whatever it took to keep her in his life, no matter how foolish it was to believe he could.  
  
Just a fool to believe  
She's like the wind.  
Just a fool to believe  
She's like the wind.  
Just a fool to believe  
She's like the wind.  
Just a fool to believe  
She's like the wind.   
  



End file.
